More Than Just Words
by lizzieten
Summary: After their argument in City of glass Clary takes Jace's advice and goes back to New York but when Jace returns from Idris things are different namely that Clary is missing. can Jace save her before it's too late!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments series that said the first parts going to be familiar and then it will be switching to the story I wrote.

More than just words

Chapter one

"Go home Clary, go home!" Jace's words rang through my mind as I turned and ran out of the room. He wasn't going to get the chance to see the tears in my eyes, he wouldn't get the chance to know just how badly he'd hurt me. Not after the cruel words he said. I had only wanted to help our mother, but apparently that was something else he could do on his own.

"_You should never have come. I know I told you it's because it's not safe for you here, but that wasn't true. The truth is that I don't want you here because you're rash and thoughtless and you'll mess everything up. It's just how you are. You're not careful Clary." _the cruel words echoed in my mind and I wondered if that was the only thing he'd ever lied to me about. Somehow I doubted it. The worst part of the whole argument was when he'd said I'd never make it as a Shadowhunter that I never could be because of my upbringing. One way or the other I would prove him wrong. I wasn't too sure how I was going to go about doing it but I would.

I swallowed hard as I fought to keep the tears back, now wasn't the time to cry or feel the hurt. Jace clearly didn't want me around so I would do him a favor and go home but I would keep working on a way to save my mother. I race down the hallway heading towards the front door; I needed to put as much space between Jace and I as possible. I wonder if he knew just how badly he'd hurt me? Somehow I doubted it, most of the time Jace didn't care about anyone's feelings unless they were the Lightwoods, I was clearly was not one of them. I would never be.

Rushing through the front door, I squeezed past Sebastian who was just coming in.

"Clary?" he asked confusion in his voice. I was sure I looked pretty strange, running as hard as I could through the door with my fiery red hair flying behind me. I ignored him and headed for the road I could already feel the tears in my eyes and I didn't want to be anywhere near the Penhallow house when the dam finally burst.

"Clary, wait up" Sebastian called but I pretended I didn't hear him and keep running. Only a few seconds later I felt a hand wrap around my arm forcing me to stop.

"What's going on?" Sebastian asked once he'd gotten to stop running. I panted hard nearly out of breath, I had never ran so much in my life as I had lately.

"You're crying" he frowned when he turned me to face him. I raised my hand and wiped at my eyes. I didn't care for him to see me fall apart.

"I want to go home, I just don't want to be here anymore." That was putting it mildly I didn't think I'd ever want to get around Jace anymore. I felt a slight twinge in my heart at that thought. I was lying to myself and I knew it, I would do anything for Jace except follow stupid orders when it pertained to helping my mother.

"Okay then I'll walk with you" Sebastian said and I frowned I wasn't sure about him, he seemed like a nice enough guy but I wasn't sure whether I could trust him or not.

"Whatever" I tell him "not telling him that I was planning on going back to New York." Something was telling me not to tell him too much.

"You want to tell me what has you so upset?" he asked as we started walking towards Amatis' house.

"Got in a fight with Jace" I said glumly going silent he didn't need to know my personal problems. I didn't know him from eve he could have been anybody for all I knew.

"First major argument?" he asked not paying attention to the black mood I had seemed to fall into the further we walked together. i ignored his question as Jace's cruel words seemed to be on repeat in my mind.

We arrived at her house faster than I'd expected and right before I headed inside Sebastian grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. I scowled and jerked my arm out of his grip. I didn't know who he was but I didn't care to have his hands on me.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" he asked and I shrugged I wasn't telling him I didn't plan on being in Idris by then.

"I hope I do" he said as he said goodbye I walked into the house. I went straight to the room that I had been staying in. I gathered the small things I had taken and then went in search of paper. I needed to let Luke know why I wasn't here anymore.

Luke,

By the time you receive this letter I will probably be back in New York. I'm sorry for dragging you here in the first place; I didn't think I would be thought of as useless and a disaster to the cause. I still want to search for a way to help my mom, but I will probably have to look for a way from home. Jace doesn't want me here so for once I am going to respect his wishes and go back to New York. I'm sorry I brought you here, be safe come home whenever you can. And thank you Amatis for letting me stay with you and healing me when I was sick. Sorry to have to leave so soon, but I can't stay where I'm not wanted.

Clary

Finished with the letter, I grabbed my things and made a portal; I just hoped it would take me to the right place. Once the portal was made I took a deep breath, thought of my home in New York and stepped through the portal. It felt like a wind blowing a couple hundred miles an hour, it grabbed ahold of my body and just pulled me through until I finally landed on the cold hard floor of my living room.

Still feeling dizzy I lay on the floor and looked up at the ceiling, I was glad to be home where I could finally release my hurt feelings. I could cry without feeling embarrassed about being made fun of.

After a few minutes I dragged myself up from the floor and made my way up to my bedroom. Maybe if I hadn't been focusing on the hurt I was feeling, I would have sensed the danger. If I had sensed then maybe I could have saved myself a world of pain but as it was I didn't even notice anything strange as I stepped into my room the world went black.

This is my first mortal instruments so please forgive any mistakes. Let me know what you think. Please no flames. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Liz


	2. Chapter 2

More than just words

Chapter 2

When I opened my eyes I groaned, whatever had been used to knock me out had left me feeling nauseous and with the worst headache I'd ever felt. My arms were stretched out above my ahead and as I pulled them down to make myself more comfortable I discovered the manacles around my wrists that were chained to the wall. I groaned again and wondered how long I was going to have to sit like this, my wrists were already hurting and I couldn't have been there all that long.

I looked around taking in my surroundings I was in a cold dark and just a tad damp cell. For a moment I wondered if I had been taken back to Idris, if that's where I was I bet Jace would be pissed although technically I did follow his orders and go back home.

"This just keeps getting better and better" I mutter wishing I could do something about the ache going through my wrists. I had an idea who had taken me but no prove that it was either of them. It was either Valentine or the Clave had found out what I could do somehow and didn't want to let me go. I was leaning more towards Valentine however because this somehow just had his name written all over it. He should know by now though that I wasn't going to cooperate with any scheme that he cooked up.

Laying my head back on the wall I stared up at the ceiling, I wondered if I had never gone to Pandemonium if I would have ended where I was at that moment. If I had never witnessed the killing of that demon would I have ever met Jace without a glamour? Probably not. That's not to say that I was blaming him for my current situation because I wasn't, but it still made me think. Made me wonder if Jace would even care that I was gone. In all honesty he probably hadn't even realized that I would go back to New York. But I had and now I was here, with no chance of escape. Good idea to bind my wrists so I couldn't draw any runes, I wonder if Valentine or the Clave somehow already knew what I could do.

"You mess everything up, you're a mundane and you'll never be a Shadowhunter." I tried to ignore the sting that those words brought but I couldn't. It was amazing just how much they still hurt after having them repeated in my own mind several times. _Jace, I only wanted to help my mother why couldn't you let me do that? _I closed my eyes and tried to breathe through the pain in my heart. I needed to think of anything but the fight but in my situation that was kind of hard to do seeing as how I had nothing but time on my hands.

A soft creak alerted me to the fact that the door was opening; I opened my eyes to see who had entered my cell. I wasn't much surprised to see Valentine standing there. I glared at him and he smirked.

"I take it you don't like your current dwelling?" I said nothing in way of reply I figured I would save myself the trouble by not saying anything. He shook his head and chuckled low in his throat.

"Nothing good can come from your stubbornness you know" he commented. I turned my head away, just the sight of the man made me sick to my stomach. I knew he would somehow want me to help with his crazy plans but I had no intention of doing so.

"You don't know why you're here do you?" he asked conversationally as he reentered my line of vision. I didn't answer though I knew eventually that would cause me no end of trouble, but I figured he didn't really come here to let me talk. He would do all of that for me crazy psychopath's tended to like the sound of their own voices.

"You're brother Jace won't cooperate with me, I think having you will encourage him to see things my way." Valentine said and I frowned what exactly did Valentine want with Jace anyways?

"That's where your wrong" I told him trying to keep the fear out of my voice "Jace couldn't care less if you have me or not" I ignored the sharp stab of pain that went through my heart. I knew this was true he had more than proved it in our argument earlier. "You won't be able to convince him to help you."

"He will if he believes you to be hurt or worse" Valentine said chuckling at the look of horror on my face. I had always known that Valentine was a sick freak but to do what he was planning. How the hell could he call himself a father?

"I see you understand" he said staring at me "I hate that you're going to have to suffer to get your brother's attention but I really need him on my side." I closed my eyes and summoned up the courage when I opened them again I spit at him. Only a few seconds later I felt a sharp sting in my cheek from where he had slapped me pretty hard.

"I don't want to hurt you but I will to accomplish my goals. Nothing else is as important as this. Jace will join me even if I have to kill you, and let me tell you he's going to have plenty of time to come to his senses before it gets that far." Valentine said leaving me to wonder what exactly that he meant.

Growling under my breath as he left my cell, I wriggled my wrists trying to free myself from the bondage. After a few minutes of struggling I found myself even more uncomfortable and I quit and tried to relax against the stone wall as best as I could. I still wondered where I was but I didn't think Valentine was going to tell me. Something told me however that I wasn't in Idris but if I wasn't in prison there where the hell was I?

I groaned when my stomach started growling, I hadn't eaten all morning and I was quickly starting to regret that decision. I was starting to feel nauseous from having an empty stomach. I wondered if this would be part of Valentine's torture: no food. I had considered him cruel but not outright sadistic before I wondered then if I was wrong, I had the feeling I would be finding out in the coming days.

Meanwhile at the Penhallow house

I crumpled to the floor and lowered his head to his hands; I regretted having said those words to the person most precious to me. I hadn't wanted to say any of that, but I needed to get her as far away from Idris as possible, if anything I'd heard about was true and the war was coming here. I didn't want her anywhere near it. I would do anything to keep her safe even hurt her as badly as I knew I'd done. Though I would do anything to get that wounded look on her face out of my head, I'd always known that she was too good for now I knew the truth. I was a monster to her I wouldn't blame her if she never talked to me again. I raised my head and laid it back against the bed behind me. I deserved whatever hell came my way. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling, I needed to get my act together we expected Valentine to attack anytime soon now, and we needed to rally the troops. Even as my mind was attempting to come up with a good plan it kept drifting back to the wounded look on her face. I wished I had not been so cruel she only wanted to help our mother.

"Jace" I heard my best friend and Parabatai Alec call out from the doorway.

"What" I said surprised at how dull my voice came out. I knew by now Alec had heard the argument between Clary and I. I'm sure the whole house had heard by now. Not surprising I wasn't in the mood to talk with Alec but he didn't take go away for an answer and entered the room anyways.

"Mind telling me why you had to be so hateful towards her?" he could ask but I would ignore. I closed my eyes and hoped he'd leave though I knew he wouldn't.

"I'm not going away until you tell me why you felt the need to destroy her." Alec said firmly as he crossed the room and sat down on the bed beside my head.

"I didn't want her to be here when Valentine attacked, we both know he will anytime now." I said "I couldn't stand it if she got hurt because the Clave found out what she could do and used her on the frontlines for their benefit."

"So you took the: be cruel to be kind approach and probably pushed her out of your life for good" Alec said none too kindly. I winced but he spoke the truth if she never spoke to me again I deserved it.

"I done what needed to be done, she won't be here when Valentine comes" I said pushing myself away from the bed and standing up. "I made my choice now leave me alone about it." Alec shook his head is if he didn't know the person standing in front of him.

I left the room and headed towards the kitchen to grab a sandwich. There were only a few precious hours left before Valentine destroyed everything in sight, and I wasn't going to spend my time regretting my actions. I needed to be ready to do whatever it took for the Shadowhunter's to win this fight.

A few hours later we were still waiting and it was a few minutes past midnight. I wondered what was going on. Valentine was always prompt with his threats, so where was he? Did he think he had some advantage over us that we didn't know about? I hoped he didn't, I wanted to go back to my demon destroying days not live in this era of constant war.

I went and stood out on the porch, everything was normal. No sign of demons destroying every building around them. No fires, nobody was running or screaming. Everything was calm and I wondered why? Did something happen to Valentine? I felt a presence step out beside me and I knew it was Alec.

"Why hasn't he came already?" I asked the older teen. I was ready for it to be over so we could return to normal.

"I don't know" Alec said "But if something doesn't happen soon, then I suppose we will be going home."

"If we do that what makes you think he won't attack as soon as we leave?" I said turning to face my friend that I had come to see as an older brother.

"I don't think that's his plan" Alec said "I think he thinks he has some kind of trump card to hold over us, and he's not going to use it until he's good and ready." I scowled but it made sense to me but I was tired of waiting.

"it's going to happen sooner or later Jace" Alec said calmly "and when it does it's going to be bad, but it will be worse for Valentine." My mind drifted off to the same place it had been off and on all day: Clary. I wondered if she had gone home or just back to wherever she'd been staying. I hoped she'd gone back to New York so she could be as far away from the war as possible. It didn't occur to me at that time that Valentine would take an interest in Clary so that he could get me to his side.

Hours turned to days and days to weeks and still no sign of Valentine everyone seemed to have relaxed and were no longer afraid of an attack. I knew Valentine however had some kind of plan for the delay, and it annoyed me that I didn't know what it was.

We were heading towards the portal to go back to New York when Isabelle came up beside me. I could tell from the look on her face she didn't have anything good to say.

"Tell me you plan on finding Clary as soon as we get home?" she asked sounding irritable. "After the way you treated her, the least you could do was apologize."

"I'll take care of it" I said annoyed that she had known what I'd planned to do. I didn't tell her thought that I had tried to call her more than once, but she hadn't answered not that I had expected any less from her. Not after the thing's I said to her.

"You'd better" Isabelle said and flounced off to talk to Alec. I rolled my eyes; she had the tendency to be very bossy. Several minutes later we were back at the Institute the first thing I done was head throw my stuff in my room and then I walked out the front door. I needed to know just how much damage I'd caused.

Stuffing my hands in my pockets I headed for the road, I hoped after everything I done I could fix it, I didn't want to think of a world where I didn't have Clary in it. I had become a better person since I'd known her. I traveled rather fast, probably because I wanted to get this situation fixed as soon possible. By the time I arrived at Luke's house, I sensed immediately that something was wrong. I don't know how I knew I just did. I walked up to the door and Simon answered it.

"What's going on?" I demanded as fear seemed to wrap its hand around my heart and squeezed.

"Clary's missing" he said "she left a note at Luke's sister's saying she was coming back here. But when we got back here she wasn't here. We waited for a few hours but she never came back. We've looked everywhere around the city." Simon said "I have no idea where she could be."

My first thought was Valentine I didn't know how or why but I had the feeling he had her. He was going to pay if he harmed even one hair on her head. I clenched my fists and closed my trying to get in a deep breath. I was ready to go hunt someone down and kill him. They wouldn't escape from me unscathed.

So sorry this is late. I had meant to get it posted last night but ended up going to bed early because of a migraine. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading and reviewing. Have a great night Liz.


	3. Chapter 3

More than just words

Chapter three

_Clary is MISSING Clary is MISSING _the words echoed in my brain like a bullet ricocheting off of an object. I didn't want to believe it but the look on Simon's face was deadly serious. I should have known something like this would happen, especially since I hadn't been around to protect her. Guilt like a knife twisted inside of me, if I hadn't of sent her away then maybe this wouldn't have happened. I had thought by sending her away I was getting her away from the danger but instead I was sending her straight into it. I clenched my hands into fists and hissed out a breath. I couldn't even begin to explain how much I hated myself right now. We wouldn't even be in this situation if I hadn't decided to be a total dick to her, the person that least deserved it in the world. Even as I sat there images of Clary being beaten burned themselves into my mind, I could practically feel her blood dripping down my hands and it made me want to vomit. The thought of someone being so cruel to her made me angry beyond words, the worst of it was knowing that it was my fault she was gone. I closed my eyes and tried to get the images out of my mind. it wasn't going to her any good if I was daydreaming about what he was or would probably be doing to her.

"Jace" I heard a voice call as if from far away but I knew vampire boy wasn't really all that far from where I was standing. "Jace snap out of it before I toss you through a wall." That got my attention I open my eyes and glare at him.

"Try it bat boy and see what happens" I snapped. Simon smirked whatever trick he'd wanted to work had worked on me.

"We'll get her back. One way or the other, and if she's hurt we'll make Valentine pay ten times worse."

"Didn't know you had it in you to be so sadistic" I remarked as I took a calming breath, he was right we would get her back.

"Only when Clary's involved" he replied. "But first you need to get your head on straight because this might take us a while to work through and we're going to need all the help we can get"

"Izzy and Alec will help" I say "they care about what happens to her. Not as much as I do of course" I sensed more than seen Simon roll his eyes. Apparently he still didn't care for my attitude oh well whatever I mentally shrug. I didn't have to time to care about what he thought.

"What are you waiting for?" Simon asked "the mouse to run up the clock"

"Smartass" I mutter before turning away and heading back the way I came. I hoped with all my heart that wherever she was, she was alright, the thought of her being in any pain and suffering was almost more than I can bear. Guilt over the cruel words I had clearly destroyed her with kept flooding into me in a steady stream. _"You mess everything up! You're a disaster! You'll never be one of us, your just a mundane." _Would I come to regret those words forever? Would I get the opportunity to apologize? So many questions ran through my head each and every one of them making me feel guiltier by the second. Swallowing hard I shook my head. Simon was right about one thing I needed to get my head on straight or I could cost a lot of people their lives and not just Clary's. I had to start thinking of this as a mission, if I didn't I wouldn't be able to focus on the task at hand. I was so lost in thought by the time I reached the Institute that I didn't hear Alec call my name as I wondered through the front door. it took Alec shouting for him to finally get my attention and when he finally did he looked more than a little irate.

"What's gotten into you?" he grumbled. I stared at him for a moment before replying.

"Clary's missing" he turned and stared at me as if he didn't believe the words that had just came from my mouth. I could understand that reaction; it's the same way I felt when Simon told me.

"She left a note for Luke at his sister's house and returned here, she hasn't been seen since." I explained even though it felt like my heart was about to be ripped out of my chest because of the pain it felt was so deep.

"She didn't go stay with what's his name?" Alec asked. I shook my head no.

"Simon hasn't seen her either" I clenched my fists at my side. Valentine had a hell of a lot to pay for and if one drop of blood was spilled from Clary's veins then Valentine would with two more of his.

"Do you know what happened?" Alec asked as we headed towards the elevator.

"Not really" I replied "but my best guess is Valentine," that seemed to surprise Alec for a moment.

"I guess he thinks she is his trump card" I frowned remembering how Alec had said that Valentine must have had something he could hold over their heads.

"It's a decision he will regret making" I said scowling and stepping out on our floor and heading for the weapons room. "Where's your parents."

"Back in Idris" he replied following behind me. I frowned, I really needed his parents to be here, so that they could help with the search for Clary. "When will they be back?" Alec shrugged.

"I think sometime tonight, why?"

"We're going to need their help to find her, I don't want Valentine holding her any longer than necessary." I was determined that after what happened I was going to protect her in any way possible.

"It's going to take more than their help to find her there's no telling where he's keeping her." Alec said and I frowned as if I needed the reminder.

"Besides don't you think it best to rest for the night." I paused as if thinking about it for a minute and then shrugged.

"No, I can't afford to rest." Alec sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You won't do her any good if you don't get any rest Shadowhunter or not." Alec said reaching out and pushing me towards my room.

"I'm Jace Wayland" I muttered "I don't need rest! Rest needs me" Alec rolled his eyes before muttering back at me. "I don't care. I'm not letting you leave without getting some sleep even if I have to sleep in front of your door." I scowled knowing he would do it.

"I don't know how you expect me to sleep, my minds going to keep me awake thinking about torture procedures." Alec knew that would be true and he hated it for his friend.

"I know it sucks to be Clary right now" Alec said firmly "but you're going to have to get sleep even if I have to knock you out" Jace scowled and walked into his room.

"What is it with everybody threatening me tonight." He flopped down on his bed. he knew he wouldn't sleep but if it would get Alec off his back then so be it.

Okay so not much happening but its another chapter at least. I'm in the middle of writing a book as well so between that I will try to update as much as possible. Thanks for reading and reviewing have a great night Liz.


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